One of the most difficult topics to talk about as a psychologist is trauma. Why? Quite simply, because you have it, you experience it, and you have been through it. Like everyone else in this world.
Between us, no one had the “perfect” parents that they would not make trauma. And so, trauma was created. Add to that the collective trauma of society, with its stereotypes, prejudices, and racism towards vulnerable social groups.
I read somewhere that when something bothers you, it’s a wake-up call from yourself to work on it and not ask the world to hand it to you.
In other words, if you can’t get on a plane because you’re afraid and it’s a childhood trauma, it’s your responsibility to deal with it, not your parents’.
Taking responsibility is what ultimately heals the trauma. Not quick courses, not self-improvement groups, not quickly consumed self-improvement books. Taking responsibility when you are an adult.
“But how do you do that?” you may ask, since it is so difficult.
The truth is, it takes work. Psychotherapy.
Working on myself means acknowledging my mistakes. I acknowledge where I fall short, where I’m doing well, where I need to try harder, where I need to stop.
Perhaps childhood trauma will never heal, but you can work on not passing it on to future generations and on being happier yourself.
Other traumas you may have from relationships, friendships, or relatives can also be worked through with psychotherapy.
Personally, as a person, journaling has helped me a lot. Therapeutic writing is liberating, as decompression and mindfulness exercises.
This is how trauma completes you. You may never be able to heal completely, but our scars are signs of strength. Isn’t that right?